I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
