even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
