and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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