It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
