I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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