I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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