I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
