Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
