I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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