The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize