tell your sister to shave her snatch
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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