remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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