How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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