And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Boobs speak an international language.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
