I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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