i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
