So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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