Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
