My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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