she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
