my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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