I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
