Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
