You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
