But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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