they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
