She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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