I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
