u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
