Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
