WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
