i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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