happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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