Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize