Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
