these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
