Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize