If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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