Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
