I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
