Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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