Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
