woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
