I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
