omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
