just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
