College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
