You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
