do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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