is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize