I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
