Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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