i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
