My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
