girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
