It's like God shit irony all over that family
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
