As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
