if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
