I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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