Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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