just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize