Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
